Thankyou Admin

[Mrs HMS]

Having this thread is a great idea. I think that there are very few of us out there who have not had exposure to this, either directly or through another family member or friend.

So thankyou! :clap:

[Bluey]

I will second that and with the very nature of what we do with a lot of people working alone we really have no one to talk to outside your family.

[NLALM]

This has just reminded me of a story I would like share with my mow bros. Lets call the guy Bill . Bill was a guy in his thirties who had his own business I used to see his truck around all the time, and I surf a bit with the guy Bill used to get to help him out. Anyway a couple of months ago I ran into Bill's offsider and he said did I hear what Bill had done , I said no whats happened I haven't seen his truck around for a while. The story is he was a lonley guy who couldn't handle working alone and couldn't afford to employ someone he was a bad stress head but only owed a couple of grand .So he decided to sell up and travel around Australia he sold the business but before he showed the new owner around the run he went home one day and hung himself, I was shocked I said to his offsider if we only knew how bad it was we could of got together and worked together,his offsider was nearly in tears telling me this story, he said yeah if we only knew how bad it was. It's the ones who don't talk about it that you have to worry about. It's just a bloody waste. Luckily though he wasn't married and had no kids

[Mrs HMS]

It's tragic isn't it.

From a similar experience on another board I frequent, there may be some people who think this isn't the place for a thread like this, that this should be strictly business, but actually I think it's exactly the place for it. Sometimes getting it all out is easier when you're anonymous.

Something like one in 4 women and one in 6 men will suffer depression in their lifetime.

If it helps just one person, it's worth it.

[Redeye]

definitely a good idea...not something that should be hidden, or avoided

[Bluey]

It's tragic isn't it.

From a similar experience on another board I frequent, there may be some people who think this isn't the place for a thread like this, that this should be strictly business, but actually I think it's exactly the place for it. Sometimes getting it all out is easier when you're anonymous.

Something like one in 4 women and one in 6 men will suffer depression in their lifetime.

If it helps just one person, it's worth it.

Yes I would have to agree. If you have nowhere to go and no one to talk to it makes the black dog all the more meaner. I think it is great idea that we as a group of Indies have enough trust in each other to actually discuss things like this. Just shows this forum is not all work related and can be used as a tool to help with other things in life.

[Tender Lovin Lawn&Garden]

This has just reminded me of a story I would like share with my mow bros. Lets call the guy Bill . Bill was a guy in his thirties who had his own business I used to see his truck around all the time, and I surf a bit with the guy Bill used to get to help him out. Anyway a couple of months ago I ran into Bill's offsider and he said did I hear what Bill had done , I said no whats happened I haven't seen his truck around for a while. The story is he was a lonley guy who couldn't handle working alone and couldn't afford to employ someone he was a bad stress head but only owed a couple of grand .So he decided to sell up and travel around Australia he sold the business but before he showed the new owner around the run he went home one day and hung himself, I was shocked I said to his offsider if we only knew how bad it was we could of got together and worked together,his offsider was nearly in tears telling me this story, he said yeah if we only knew how bad it was. It's the ones who don't talk about it that you have to worry about. It's just a bloody waste. Luckily though he wasn't married and had no kids

ive had a few mates do it. five in 2010 alone. but it still hurts to hear about people doing it even if i dont know them. one of the things that stops me from thinking silly things that and my children. It will get better well cant get much worse unless the balif walks in and takes my house.

[C.O.R.Y.S]

I for one think ill be using this thread a fair bit in the coming months. Like I said previously Ive suffered pretty bad in the past but have been doing really well for a while now, pretty much since I met my wife. Now however I live in a new city with no family or friends of any sort and my wife is about to be deployed to Afghanistan for 8 months leaving me completely alone and this morning I had one of those gut sinking moments when it dawned on me ive just started a business where ill be working by myself as well! She hasnt even left yet and im already starting to get that sick lonely feeling. We went to an info night about the deployment tonight which was good but im pretty much the only husband being left behind with a hell of alot of wives and gf's. they all seem nice but f*#k i could do with a mate or two to sink some piss with and talk sh*t that doesnt have anything to do with the army. Oh and I love the fact my wife loves the footy to but seriously if I have to watch another game with just her I think im gonna have a breakdown!!! ok im done for now, feels good to vent.

[Tender Lovin Lawn&Garden]

I for one think ill be using this thread a fair bit in the coming months. Like I said previously Ive suffered pretty bad in the past but have been doing really well for a while now, pretty much since I met my wife. Now however I live in a new city with no family or friends of any sort and my wife is about to be deployed to Afghanistan for 8 months leaving me completely alone and this morning I had one of those gut sinking moments when it dawned on me ive just started a business where ill be working by myself as well! She hasnt even left yet and im already starting to get that sick lonely feeling. We went to an info night about the deployment tonight which was good but im pretty much the only husband being left behind with a hell of alot of wives and gf's. they all seem nice but f*#k i could do with a mate or two to sink some piss with and talk sh*t that doesnt have anything to do with the army. Oh and I love the fact my wife loves the footy to but seriously if I have to watch another game with just her I think im gonna have a breakdown!!! ok im done for now, feels good to vent.

Im only in kirwan mate and i often can use a visit as my ex left me in november and iits been a hard battle taking her to court for the right to see my kids and other ****.

[geoff1969]

I will second that and with the very nature of what we do with a lot of people working alone we really have no one to talk to outside your family.

spot on bluey , you can be in a crowded venue and still be alone , sometime talking over the net or the phone can realy help simplify things for the individual it allows you to be open etc with out that face to face situation wich can some times be intimidating to individuals , and with the thread people can speak out with out people being judgemental towards them , can make an extreame difference
... maybe even try and get some of those help line numbers listed up to , but will have to check the legal side of things with admin about posting them ...
cheers admin top job

[danz]

I were actually thinking of starting this topic awhile back.. Props to admin great work
This forum alone is abit of an escape from the everyday battles we go through one way or the other... You will be amazed how many people will visit this thread....

[Mrs HMS]

I for one think ill be using this thread a fair bit in the coming months. Like I said previously Ive suffered pretty bad in the past but have been doing really well for a while now, pretty much since I met my wife. Now however I live in a new city with no family or friends of any sort and my wife is about to be deployed to Afghanistan for 8 months leaving me completely alone and this morning I had one of those gut sinking moments when it dawned on me ive just started a business where ill be working by myself as well! She hasnt even left yet and im already starting to get that sick lonely feeling. We went to an info night about the deployment tonight which was good but im pretty much the only husband being left behind with a hell of alot of wives and gf's. they all seem nice but f*#k i could do with a mate or two to sink some piss with and talk sh*t that doesnt have anything to do with the army. Oh and I love the fact my wife loves the footy to but seriously if I have to watch another game with just her I think im gonna have a breakdown!!! ok im done for now, feels good to vent.

You'll have to excuse my ignorance a bit because I'm not sure what those on active duty can and cannot do (by way of access to stuff) but are you able to set up Skype or something with a webcam as well so you can still catch up and see/hear each other?

Have you looked to see if there is a support networks for male partners of armed forces personell stationed overseas? If you can't find one, maybe start one, a forum like this - find ways to spread the word there must be plenty more in your situation.

Which Indi's are in your area - organise to meet with them for a cleansing ale or to watch the footy in all it's blokey glory!

Keep coming in here when you need to vent. Danz is right, this thread is going to be more frequented than many may think.

Wishing your wife all the best and thank her from us for what she does.

[Igor54]

I actually got into mowing after a long walk with the black dog. I was a bit worried that the long hours muttering to myself behind a mower/whippy might make things worse.
I found it was (for me, anyway) just the opposite - I set my thoughts to planning how to do each job a bit better/easier next time. That, and the interaction with the customers is really good after my last career meltdown.
I have a heap of home-assist contract work with pensioners, and most are just so happy to have someone come around every few weeks, that the mowing is almost secondary :)

It's still easy to slip into a downward spiral again, but I recognise the symptoms much earlier now, and can usually catch it pretty quick. That's when I tend to spend an evening in my mates' shed, talking drag racing and other stuff unrelated to work/home/bills etc.

Great subject for the forum, and I'll definitely be keeping an eye on it.

[C.O.R.Y.S]

You'll have to excuse my ignorance a bit because I'm not sure what those on active duty can and cannot do (by way of access to stuff) but are you able to set up Skype or something with a webcam as well so you can still catch up and see/hear each other?

Have you looked to see if there is a support networks for male partners of armed forces personell stationed overseas? If you can't find one, maybe start one, a forum like this - find ways to spread the word there must be plenty more in your situation.

Which Indi's are in your area - organise to meet with them for a cleansing ale or to watch the footy in all it's blokey glory!

Keep coming in here when you need to vent. Danz is right, this thread is going to be more frequented than many may think.

Wishing your wife all the best and thank her from us for what she does.

Thanks Jo, yeah we'll have skype which will help some but obviously its still a big difference. Unfortunately there is a big fat zero when it comes to support groups or support of any kind really specifically for husbands of defence personel at all let alone for on deployments. as far as we can work out for this trip I am the only one out of around 400 going. there are other females going but none of them have partners or those that do are army. we spoke to someone from the psych unit and she said there is a seperate medical unit going over which has a lot more females in it being medics and nurses etc so there is probably a much better chance of there being other me's but they arent going till later in the year and have nothing to do with my wifes unit so its hard to make contact. ill definately be spending plenty of time in here though and yeah would like to catch up with a few of the other guys from around town, if not just to pick their brains about work but any shared experience is always the best way to start building friendships.

[PaulG]

Sporting clubs are a great way to meet new mates too. I played Grade cricket here for years and still keep in touch with a few people. Not as often as I'd like though as it's been about six years since my last full season.

It would be harder now I think in this sort of job. Winter might offer a bit more lattitude for getting to training and playing on weekends or weeknights but I'd hate to be still trying to play Cricket here through the summer months with this job.

[Mrs HMS]

Great idea Paul. Even people don't play any more, as a parent of sporting kids I know that it is the scourge of junior sport - a shortage of adults to help - co-ordinating, coaching, team managing. Getting involved in your local club at a junior level like that can help you meet people too.

Great to hear from you PaulG!

[Jayk]

great thread guys!

[Benny1]

Thought i would say thankyou to admin for this thread being up,

For some people they will never experience Depression but for others they can never escape it,

my partner suffers from depression, she has her good days and her not so good days, but we have learnt that its the little things in life that we often miss that mean the most,

[geoff1969]

its the little things in life that we often miss that mean the most,
this is true benny 1
strange this thread shuold pop up again today , had a call from one of my elderly clients last night about 8.00 pm telling me not to come this week as he had some trees loped and trimed and crap every where = no problem will catch it up next week , after phone call thought to myself geez the old fella dont sound to good so about 8.30 send him a text asking if he was ok tired or bit run down , { hes a nice old bloke } well he rang me back said he was filling down and how he has suffers from depresion etc for years and was filling low , we spoke and laughed on the phone for about half hour last night , he rang me again today to say he was filling down in the dumps last night but after the phone call last night he said he was filling 50 percent better , and he said he went to see his doctor again today and every thing is back on track again .... some times its just the person knowing there not alone and a friend to speak to can make a difference ,

[GardenGuy]

If you have the time in your life, and the commitment to be a better man, do as geoff1969 showed - give a hand up to those who genuinely need it.

It's not part of the commercial side of being a lawn and garden service man, but it's part of being a proper man and looking after your community and helping, when you can and without damage to your family and your work, the people you meet.

Help those who genuinely need, when you can.

Cheers - GardenGuy.