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Thread: Lawnie Lingo - It's our own dialect !!

  1. #1
    Senior Member Arfa Brayne's Avatar
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    Arrow Lawnie Lingo - It's our own dialect !!

    Been in the game 15 years, and after a while you start to evolve your own words for some of the Jobs/Conditions/Customers.

    These are ours, Just wondering if anyone has many others.

    GLARDEN - You know those bits of grass the size of a doormat, that are surrounded by plantings. The ones you have to whipper snip because it's just too small or fiddly to mow. Or the area that was once a garden, but is overgrown with grass to the point where the customer asks you to mow it. Kind of like the word "cankles" where you cannot tell the difference between the calves and the ankles. I hate glardens !!

    LABRADOR PLANTING/GARDEN - You know how Labrador pups (they are pups till 10 years old) tend to dig little holes at random all over the yard and bury things. Well some people are similar. Like a vegetarian labrador, (supposedly intelligent) they dig little random holes in the lawn and bury plants in them. Sure it makes it awkward to mow, but hey, that's what we're for. After many years this can often evolve into a "Gymkhana lawn" or "Glarden"

    SHERPA GRASS - Those bits of "lawn" that grow on the side of an embankment or steep slope. Blokes that cut sherpa grass on a regular basis end up with one leg shorter than the other and a pair of billygoat horns.

    GYMKHANA LAWN - (or "commando course") An easy lawn, or it would be if it wasn't covered with Potplants, Garden furniture, ornaments, swing sets, trampolines, random trees and sherpa grass.

    ELEPHANT GRASS - Tall enough to hide an Elephant in - Usually found on rental properties following the customer's usual cry of "can you do it tomorrow?, I've got an inspection" . Probably hasn't been mown since last inspection.

    PENTRIDGE - (or prison of your choice) Every gate, every access, is locked or blocked.

    LITTERATI - Those customers who are incapable of using a garbage bin, or too important to tidy anything.

    PLAYPEN - Lawn scattered with kids stuff, bikes, scooters, leggo, hot wheels(lethal projectile), shoes/socks, dad's tools, mum's pots - basically anything a kid can fiddle with.

    STEPTOE - Like a "playpen" in adult version. Remember "Steptoe & son" on telly?

    MASON'S - Yes, you have found the secret abode of a member of the Stonemason's Lodge. Piles of bricks, lumps of concrete, chunks of rock, accompanied by various building materials like rusty iron, dryrot timber, and old windows. All hidden secretly, buried in the turf or hidden in overgrown grass.

    LAND MINE (dog bomb, barker egg, etc) no description required.

    CAT NUKE - The small but extremely devestating equivalent of a dog bomb. You won't see them, but by god you'll know when you hit one.

    SNAIL FACE - hit a garden snail just right with the trimmer and you'll need to clean your safety glasses before you continue.

    WHIFFER IN THE SNIFFER - another line trimmer related hazard. A land mine, cat nuke or snail face that splats its way right into your nostril and sticks there. Visually entertaining for your offsider as you try to remove the intruder from your nostrils while shuddering and performing a little dance.

    SO - WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR'S???
    "Can't" is a dirty 4 letter word.
    If someone says "Can't" , take the "T" off the end and brew it.
    Sip on a mugfull, relax, and take a look at what you've got left to work with.

  2. #2
    Senior Member 63impala's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lawnie Lingo - It's our own dialect !!

    GHETTO LAWNS people that want there lawn mowed when it so long they think there geting there monies worth but you dont use the catcher just to piss them off... Check mate!!!! !!!! !
    But if you aint ''STIHL'' you aint real....

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    Member Redeye's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lawnie Lingo - It's our own dialect !!

    classic stuff!! love it...




    http://curraronggardening.com/

    "All sin is washed away in the Holy goodness of Beer"
    Book of Redeye, Psalm 69

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    Member Lawnart's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lawnie Lingo - It's our own dialect !!

    Still laughing at the whiffer in the sniffer, gotta remember to keep your mouth closed when on the snipper! if it can get up your nose it can go in your mouth!
    Actually have a regular who has had trouble with a prowler, last time i turned up to mow i walked down the side of the house and kicked a trip wire he had set up & attached to the end was a beer bottle that came flying toward my head!! next time i do his lawn i will be keeping a n eye out for anymore little setups he may have.

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    Member courty's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lawnie Lingo - It's our own dialect !!

    HAHAHAHA
    Well done Arfa,can relate to them all
    "I'm not alone cause the tv's on yeah,I'm not crazy cause I take the right pills.... everyday" Jimmy Eat World

    http://www.dreamlawnsandlandscapes.com

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    Member Andy B's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lawnie Lingo - It's our own dialect !!

    Love your work Arfa!

    Feral- no it's not a cat, dog or some imported pest it's a suburban back yard where you may find any of the pre-mentioned.

    Pigeons chest- similar to camel toe but better looking usually spotted driving between jobs crossing the road.

    Bit of Trim- again nothing to do with mowing, usually spotted driving between jobs.

    Whippy - the common term used to refer to any sort of whipper snipper or brushcutter- "I'll whippy the front you open end the back"

    Open end- no nothing to do with going the loo, or letting the back down on the ute, it's the fine art of mowing ferals (see above) buy way of using an occy strap to hold the rear chute of the mower open.

    Regular - nothing to do with bodily functions but all to do with the frequency a lawn is mowed.

    Casual - nothing to do with a buddy of the opposite *** you can ring in the wee hours of the morning to see what's up, more to do with a client that rings us advising the grass is up.

    Nice hedge - usually has nothing to do with any sort of hedge but usually said driving between jobs.

    Sure there's many more! Again good one Arfa, this will be a great thread!

  7. #7
    Senior Member cadase's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lawnie Lingo - It's our own dialect !!

    The United Nations - My real Estate Rental jobs

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    Senior Member holdenhead's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lawnie Lingo - It's our own dialect !!

    When you are happily whipper snipping along a fence or wall watching where you are snipping and whack, there's a clothes line or air con unit that you smash your head on. Ouch! I call that one "END OF THE WORLD" coz that's how it feels.

  9. #9
    Senior Member holdenhead's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lawnie Lingo - It's our own dialect !!

    "Friendly fire" is when your helper shoots you with a hard object with the snipper or mower and "napalm" is when it is a soft object eg: dog crap or slugs etc.

  10. #10
    MEMBER Fred's mowing's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lawnie Lingo - It's our own dialect !!

    Grooming flap , someone explained it once
    Cheers Fred.

  11. #11
    Member Greenie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lawnie Lingo - It's our own dialect !!

    holy crap - when you are whipper snipping the back yard and taste something funny/bad on your lips and when u go and get paid,your ccustomer tells you the toilet is backed up and we had to hose it onto the back t lawn

  12. #12
    Senior Member ****'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Lawnie Lingo - It's our own dialect !!

    2 dollar millionaires- found in new estates with massive homes crammed onto tiny blocks, new cars in the drive, all the trinkets but haven't got more than two gold coins to rub together because the bank and finance companies are taking them for all they are worth. Expect you to tow the line and just do what they want because everything else in life has been handed to them on a platter....cash up front or no worky
    I reject your reality and substitute my own.

  13. #13
    Senior Member 63impala's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lawnie Lingo - It's our own dialect !!

    I like your style lol


    Quote Originally Posted by holdenhead View Post
    "Friendly fire" is when your helper shoots you with a hard object with the snipper or mower and "napalm" is when it is a soft object eg: dog crap or slugs etc.
    But if you aint ''STIHL'' you aint real....

  14. #14
    Senior Member Arfa Brayne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lawnie Lingo - It's our own dialect !!

    Quote Originally Posted by holdenhead View Post
    When you are happily whipper snipping along a fence or wall watching where you are snipping and whack, there's a clothes line or air con unit that you smash your head on. Ouch! I call that one "END OF THE WORLD" coz that's how it feels.
    Some good ones here I hope you don't mind if I use.
    Friendly fire, Holy crap and 2 dollar millionaires are spot on!
    Andy B - looks like you've been building a lingo of your own too.

    "End of the world" I've done a couple of times, but mowing pulling the mower backwards, not snipping. The end of the strut on the old Hills hoist delivers a "King Hit" right to the temple when it has been left wound down and your hat and focus stop you from seeing it. "Whack" and next thing you're on the ground wondering WTF!
    "Can't" is a dirty 4 letter word.
    If someone says "Can't" , take the "T" off the end and brew it.
    Sip on a mugfull, relax, and take a look at what you've got left to work with.

  15. #15
    Senior Member 63impala's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lawnie Lingo - It's our own dialect !!

    I can NUKE them for you spraying the weeds

    INCOMING when you are mowing wpippers or snipping along a tin fence sounds like some taking pop shots at u and ur sensis are on high alert.....
    But if you aint ''STIHL'' you aint real....

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