It has often been suggested that English language should have male and female nouns.

Here are a few candidates for consideration as useful male and female nouns:


Swiss Army Knife
male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety
of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.

Kidneys
female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.

Penlight
male, because it can be turned on very easily, but isn't very
bright.

Tire
male, because it goes bald and often is over-inflated.

Hot Air Balloon
male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire
under it...and, of course, there's the hot air part.

Sponges
female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.

Web Page
female, because it is always getting hit on.

Shoe
male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging
out.

Copier
female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up.
also, because it is an effective reproductive device when the
right buttons are pushed. Also, because it can wreak havoc
when the wrong buttons are pushed.

Ziploc Bags:

male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see
right through them.

Subway
male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

Hourglass
female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

Hammer
male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years,
but it's handy to have around and it's good for killing bugs.