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Thread: Jokes R Us

  1. #706
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    Default Re: Jokes R Us

    My new Thai girlfriend said that having a small penis is irrelevant and that if we truly love each other we will not let it interfere with our love and i do agree but wonder am i wrong to still wish she didn't have one
    Anything Ian says may or may not be garbage, it may also be his own opinion or it may not be his opinion at all, it may just be something he felt like stating anyone following his advice does so at their own risk and may be doing something Ian would actually advise against.
    And if you don't like what Ian has to say use the ignore function if you don't know how ask i will gladly tell you

  2. #707
    Senior Member AJD Mowing's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes R Us

    Julia Gillard and the Labor Party
    AJD Mowing Giving Back Your Life

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  3. #708
    Member Rye Victoria great nature's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes R Us

    IMG_0647.JPG
    not too relevant at the moment but hey.

  4. #709
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    Default Re: Jokes R Us

    hmmm.....not too sure about that one?

    An Irishman applying for a job as a blacksmith was asked if he had any
    experience shoeing horses.


    He said no, but he had once told a donkey to f**k off.




    http://curraronggardening.com/

    "All sin is washed away in the Holy goodness of Beer"
    Book of Redeye, Psalm 69

  5. #710
    Member Rye Victoria great nature's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes R Us

    28 july 2012 013.JPG

    maybe this is more to your liking? not sure how to make it smaller (the image).

  6. #711
    Senior Member AJD Mowing's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes R Us

    told a donkey to f**k off.
    Hey Redeye I did that once and he wasnt HAPPY.. Well mabe he was HAPPY
    AJD Mowing Giving Back Your Life

    http://www.ajdmowing.com.au/

  7. #712
    Member Redeye's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes R Us

    lol lol lol




    http://curraronggardening.com/

    "All sin is washed away in the Holy goodness of Beer"
    Book of Redeye, Psalm 69

  8. #713
    Senior Member AJD Mowing's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes R Us

    Nooooo its not Coko the Clown thats our fearless leader showing the rest of the world what us Ausies are realy like.. Ahhh makes you proud.. Do you think she sounds like Cath from Cath and Kim? Could be one and the same...
    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worl...-in-India.html
    AJD Mowing Giving Back Your Life

    http://www.ajdmowing.com.au/

  9. #714
    Senior Member Kathryn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes R Us

    Quote Originally Posted by raegn View Post
    IMG_0647.JPG
    not too relevant at the moment but hey.
    totally relevant at the moment. wish i could punch my allergies
    Indy and proud

  10. #715
    Senior Member PaulG's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes R Us

    If anyone hears of any good vegetable jokes can you lettuce know!

  11. #716
    Senior Member sterlo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes R Us

    A school inspector is sent to assess a Year 4 class in a local state school. He is introduced to the class by the teacher.

    She says to the class "Let's show the inspector just how clever you are by allowing him to ask you a question". The inspector reasons that normally class starts with religious instruction so he will ask a biblical question: "Class, who broke down the walls of Jericho ?"

    For a full minute there is absolute silence. Eventually, little Billy raises his hand. Billy stands up and replies "Sir, I do not know who broke down the walls of Jericho, but I can assure you it wasn't me".

    Of course the inspector is shocked by the answer and the lack of knowledge of the famous bible story and he looks at the teacher for an explanation. Realising that he is perturbed, the teacher says "Well, I've known Billy since the start of the year, and I believe that if he says that he didn't do it then he didn't do it".

    The inspector is even more shocked at this and storms down to the principal's office and tells him what happened, to which the principal replies "I don't know the boy, but I believe his teacher. If she feels that the boy is innocent, then he must be innocent".

    The inspector can't believe what he is hearing. He grabs the phone on the principal's desk and in a rage, dials Prime Minster Julia Gillard and rattles off the entire occurrence to her and asks what she thinks of the education standard in Australia.

    The PM sighs heavily and replies "I don't know the boy, the teacher or the principal, and never heard of the school, but just get three quotes and have the bloody wall fixed!"
    I spend most of my money on beer and horses, I just waste the rest....


    http://www.sterlinggardenservices.com/

  12. #717
    Member Rye Victoria great nature's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes R Us

    thanx kathryn. heres another one, a personal favorite. warning: lots of nasty swear words.

    sept 2012 iphone 142.JPG

    so true

  13. #718
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    Default Re: Jokes R Us

    Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary all with very big smiles on their

    Faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.



    'First body: Pierre Dubois, Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his 20-year old mistress. Hence the enormous smile,Inspector', says the Coroner.

    'Second body: Hamish Campbell, Scotsman, 25, won £50,000 on the lottery,

    Spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.'

    The Inspector asked, 'What about the third body?'

    'Ah,' says the coroner, 'this is the most unusual one. Paddy Murphy, Irish, 30, struck by lightning.'

    'Why is he smiling then?' inquires the Inspector.

    'He thought he was having his picture taken'




    http://curraronggardening.com/

    "All sin is washed away in the Holy goodness of Beer"
    Book of Redeye, Psalm 69

  14. #719
    Senior Member Kathryn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes R Us

    did you hear about the orange that went to work in a juicing factory? it got the sack because it couldnt concentrate
    Indy and proud

  15. #720
    Senior Member AJD Mowing's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes R Us

    Thats because he was to busy watching Mr Green pea over the fence
    AJD Mowing Giving Back Your Life

    http://www.ajdmowing.com.au/

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