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Thread: Jokes R Us

  1. #886
    Senior Member BSD's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes R Us

    Here's a couple from an email today..plant pic.jpgand another..chinese menu.jpg
    Last edited by BSD; 23-05-2014 at 09:17 PM. Reason: stonkered

  2. #887
    Senior Member Mow And Go's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes R Us

    129162481628634727.jpg a few years ago when I was still living in Melbourne and we had sweltering heat that was farking up the trains (again...)
    I dont break things ...I just use them beyond their operational limitations
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  3. #888
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    Default Re: Jokes R Us

    !cid_part1_09080408_07060900@bigpond.jpg

    ..........................




    http://curraronggardening.com/

    "All sin is washed away in the Holy goodness of Beer"
    Book of Redeye, Psalm 69

  4. #889
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    Default Re: Jokes R Us

    !cid_294A2ABF-99C3-43EF-8708-AB8780A35E6F.jpg

    ...................................




    http://curraronggardening.com/

    "All sin is washed away in the Holy goodness of Beer"
    Book of Redeye, Psalm 69

  5. #890
    Senior Member Mow And Go's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes R Us

    silly bugger, my falsies don't leave my mouth for more than 2 mins at a time for these sorts of reasons lol
    I dont break things ...I just use them beyond their operational limitations
    www.mowandgogardening.com.au

  6. #891
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    Default Re: Jokes R Us

    A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.


    "Excuse me, Sergeant, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"

    "Negative, ma'am just serious by nature."

    The young lad y looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action."

    "Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."

    The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up. Relax and enjoy yourself."

    The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.

    Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had ***?"

    "1955, ma'am."

    "Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean no *** since 1955!"

    She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times.

    Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955."

    The Sergeant Major glanced at his watch, "I hope not; it's only 2130 now."




    http://curraronggardening.com/

    "All sin is washed away in the Holy goodness of Beer"
    Book of Redeye, Psalm 69

  7. #892
    Senior Member edbeek's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes R Us

    truelove.jpg
    .......................................

  8. #893
    Member Redeye's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes R Us

    A hungry bloke walks into a seedy cafe in Glasgow.

    He sits in the counter and notices a Jock with his arms folded, staring

    blankly at a bowl of chili



    After ten minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the hungry bloke

    bravely asks.



    "If you aren't going to eat that, mind if I do?"



    The old Jock slowly turns his head toward the young bloke and says.



    "Nah, ye can gae ahead."



    Eagerly, the young bloke reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place

    and starts spooning it in with delight.



    He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chili.



    The sight was shocking and he immediately pukes up the chili back into the

    bowl.



    The old Jock says. "Aye, that's as far as I got too."







    May the wind whistle quietly up ya kilt.




    http://curraronggardening.com/

    "All sin is washed away in the Holy goodness of Beer"
    Book of Redeye, Psalm 69

  9. #894
    Member Redeye's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes R Us

    Mohammad entered his classroom on the first day of school.


    "What's your name?" asked the teacher.
    "Mohammad," he replied.
    "You're in Ireland now," replied the teacher, "So from now on you will be known as Frank."
    Mohammad returned home after school.

    "How was your day, Mohammad?" his mother asked.
    "My name is not Mohammad. I'm in Ireland and now my name is Frank."


    "Are you ashamed of your name? Are you trying to dishonour your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!"
    And his mother beat him. Then she called his father, who beat him again.

    The next day Mohammad returned to school. The teacher saw all of his bruises. "What happened to you, Frank?” she asked.
    "Well miss, shortly after becoming an Irishman, I was attacked by two ****en Arabs."




    http://curraronggardening.com/

    "All sin is washed away in the Holy goodness of Beer"
    Book of Redeye, Psalm 69

  10. #895
    Member Redeye's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes R Us

    Mrs Brown...
    ATT000099.jpg




    http://curraronggardening.com/

    "All sin is washed away in the Holy goodness of Beer"
    Book of Redeye, Psalm 69

  11. #896
    Senior Member BSD's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes R Us

    Creative Advert..........mowing poster.jpg

  12. #897
    Member Redeye's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes R Us

    A person took this picture in Shakopee, MN. He and one of his co-workers were driving by and had to circle the block.

    It's a guy cutting down a tree in his backyard.

    The cops showed up, telling the guy he couldn't do what he was doing.

    He told them to go to hell it's his property and his tree.
    ATT000011111.jpg




    http://curraronggardening.com/

    "All sin is washed away in the Holy goodness of Beer"
    Book of Redeye, Psalm 69

  13. #898
    Senior Member Mow And Go's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes R Us

    did Carl Babe start off in Shakopee, MN before going to Ohio? :\
    I dont break things ...I just use them beyond their operational limitations
    www.mowandgogardening.com.au

  14. #899
    Senior Member NLALM's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes R Us

    That boy has balls........

  15. #900
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    Default Re: Jokes R Us

    sure does, shame they're where his brain should be




    http://curraronggardening.com/

    "All sin is washed away in the Holy goodness of Beer"
    Book of Redeye, Psalm 69

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